Do The Scary Thing
Almost a year ago I had an idea for a podcast. On the one hand, this was great news for me. I had long wanted to create a podcast to at least experience what it was like and to see if I would enjoy it.
On the other hand, the idea came from a bittersweet announcement that RailsConf 2025 would be the final RailsConf.
The morning after I had this idea, I shopped it around to a number of Ruby friends and acquaintances. They all gave the idea, and me, hearty encouragement and all of them ultimately appeared as a guest on that podcast: The Ode to RailsConf
The thing is, looking back on those events now, I’m amazed that I tried this endeavor at all.
I’ve long described myself as an introvert. I’m very comfortable in quiet, and almost never feel the need to fill the silence with something. Meeting and interacting with new people has always elicited a response that contained a mixture of fear and anxiety.
So first of all, it strikes me as odd that a year ago I was willing to approach as many people as I did to look for feedback on this podcast idea. Some of these people are friends now, but were total strangers to me at the time. But one of my other Ruby friends had pointed them out and said I should talk with them about it, so I did.
And then there’s the podcast itself. Just the experience of doing the podcast itself was almost the literal definition of what could trigger my social anxiety response. Meeting new people? Asking them questions? Trying to make sure the conversation doesn’t hit an awkward lull of silence? Why did I ever think this was a good idea for me back then?
But here’s the thing: at the time I thought it was a good idea. In hindsight I think this was the PERFECT idea for me and for what I needed.
I knew with this podcast that this was always going to be a fairly small project with a very VERY niche audience. The goal was never to become a breakout success or for the podcast to provide any kind of financial support to my family. The point of the podcast was pretty much in the name: to have guests from varying perspectives share stories and experiences from RailsConf. And part of the idea was that it would be a short-term project, because it has a hard end-date. The podcast will conclude with, hopefully, with an episode recorded at RailsConf.
So even if I hated the experience, even if I was terrible at it, it wasn’t a long term commitment. I could do this for a while and at least say “I did this thing. I ran a podcast.”
For a while that’s all I really thought I was going to get out of the experience.
Then I went to RubyConf in November, and I felt like things were different. I normally have to really work myself up into pretending I’m an extrovert in order to do much socializing at these conferences. And even then I usually only have one really good day, and crash the rest of the time. But this time I went the whole week feeling energized and excited to meet people. And I never had a crash from RubyConf.
The only thing I can attribute this change to is the podcast. That just the simple act of practicing, “getting in some reps” if you will, at talking with people has helped to retrain my brain to an extent. Somewhere along the way I was able to internalize that these social situations aren’t as scary as I once thought they were. All because I started having short, low-risk conversations with people once or twice a week.
So this potentially scary project had a significant impact on me, and helped to reshape me into a better version of myself.
And as if that alone wasn’t enough, I recently discovered that I’m being considered for a couple of great opportunities that I would LOVE to have. And again, as far as I can tell the best thing I can attribute these opportunities to is the podcast.
Even if neither of those opportunities ultimately pans out, those are external points of validation that pale in comparison to how I feel about myself when going into a new social situation.
Which finally brings us back to the title of this post. My recommendation for anyone that comes across this blog: do the scary thing. That thing that is just outside your comfort zone. Doing that scary thing is going to help you stretch, and learn, and grow. And one day you’ll look back on it and you’ll be able to see how you’ve changed and grown as a result of those choices.